While many New Yorkers flee the city for a summer escape, the Junior baby hatter family ventured out to the city to visit some old friends from our pre-baby life for a July 4th celebration. It's always a hoot to bring Adam to a grownup get-together where he's the only kiddo. People are always commenting on how he's so "chill" and his bursts of unbridled dancing adds life to the party. What's surprising is how having a child around an "adult"party brings up conversation among friends in relationships on whether they decided to have or not to have children. A perfectly personal decision becomes a party conversation topic. Sometimes couples have family or societal pressures to have kids before they even settle in their own relationship. They assert, "We can barely take care of ourselves!" or ask "How do have the energy?"
Oh my dear friends without kids (let's say FWOK's for short), I have no judgments. We truly lucked out to have, for the most part, a calm and happy child. There are times when we plan a trip and Adam is fussy or throws a tantrum but all I can do is remember that he is the child and I am the parent. I can control my emotions and actions better than he can so I try to be an example. So enjoy your time together building a solid foundation in your relationship.
I'm sure my FWOK's view me the same way as I view my friends with multiple kids, "How are you doing that?!" And I'm sure the answer is the same, "You just do it." All the unconditional love and joy your children freely give is reward enough. So to all my FWOK's, no need to explain your personal choices to me. Simply enjoy your precious nieces and nephews and babysit often.
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